I have never hated anything as much as I hate college. But I feel awful for wasting my moms money. At the same time me failing classes because I don’t care enough to show up or just generally don’t know whats going on isn’t helping anyone. The thought of going there has literally reduced me to panic attacks that keep me up at night. I feel bad because my friend goes there with me and we have the same schedule. I am also shallow enough to care what everyone would think if I stopped coming. I don’t want my life to be reduced to reading and being tested on things I genuinely don’t care about when I could be working and making some sort of difference in the world. I feel like all i’ve done is just waste time and a shit ton of money. I just wish I could show my mom that me failing and her paying for it is the same thing as me withdrawing early because I’m going to have a mental breakdown if I keep this shit up.
how come everyone i know is doing cool shit and being successful. like i do nothing cool. nothing. what am i even doing with my life? wallowing in self pity.
derek hale revealing my daily thoughts
You want weird tv episodes that you’ve never seen before? It’s probably been on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You want a musical episode? Buffy. An episode with no talking at all? Buffy. A good laugh about a demon-hunting dummy? Buffy. What about one where hyena ghosts posses high school students and then go eat their principle? Guess who. Just go watch Buffy you piece of shit.
"dark lipstick makes you look intimidating"
good. stay the hell away from me.
i really wanna kiss you and be cute with you and fall asleep in your arms and go on stupid dates but i also sort of want to light you on fire and throw myself into traffic so idk
Anxiety attacks are the worst because sometimes you have no idea why you’re crying or angry and you just think of everything wrong in your life and you can’t control it all you can do is breath in and out and cry it out