stop romanticizing unhealthy relationships.
stop thinking you can change someone. you can’t. they need to change for themselves.
stop romanticizing the idea of you two being together some day. if it isn’t happening now, let it go.
no more pouring your heart out for someone who gives you little to no reciprocation.
find someone who values your long letters and passionate attempts. this person will reciprocate, with twice as much fire.
Trying something different this time around. I just got home from a trip 3,000 miles from home to look at a school in a new city. And for those 5 days I was so happy and calm and not worried about anything or anyone. I came home hoping to set new goals and follow through. Work out and get healthy—-> donate old clothes to women in need, because I’ve been through the worst this summer and I have a new found respect for women everywhere for being strong and amazing. I am yet to go a day without being overcome with panic and heartbreak over what I had experienced and the least I can do is give back to help those who weren’t as fortunate as me. I want to feel amazing about myself and buy new clothes and go shopping to start my new life. I am done texting him. If he wants to self destruct and drag me down then I don’t care. I can’t care, it kills me to get these horrible drunken calls thinking the next one could be an accident or worse. If he loved me he would stop and make the effort. I flipped out before I left but this time I will be strong and not call him or text him and try to pick up where we left off. I will not go to the parties where I know he will be there- up and ready to cause a scene with my “friends” who really don’t care about me at all. I will put my health first and stop with the drinking and the drugs and putting myself in horrible situations because I know i am not strong enough to go through what I did again. & I will love myself because I really really haven’t in a long time. Everything will work out from here. Here’s to starting over.
I think we all have that one person that we never truely get over, that we still think about right before bed everynight, or you will always jump at a chance to talk to ever tho you know you shouldn’t talk to, or the first person you think of whenever you’re drunk.
Everything happens for a reason but I feel like I’ve done enough suffering. one mistake has turned into two months of living hell. I’m tired and I don’t want to do this anymore.
swag won’t pay the bills but apparently neither will your degree